Love is one of the most profound and universal human experiences. Whether romantic, platonic, or familial – at its core, love is about connection, acceptance, and support. How about love with a disability? Love is often celebrated as something that transcends obstacles, yet for disabled people, love is frequently viewed through a distorted lens. Society tends to either overlook their romantic lives or frame their relationships as extraordinary acts of selflessness from their partners.
But love within the disability community is most times not what others on the outside see it as – sacrifice or struggle; it is about partnership, mutual care, and deep emotional bonds that are just as rich and meaningful as any other.
Kellie is a writer and a social work graduate, navigating life with chronic illness and disability. Her love story with her wife, Dani, is a true example of what love between two people means – unwavering dedication, support, and choosing each other every single day, over and over again.
“My wife and I met in high school, and I’m not kidding when I say I fell in love instantly. Loving them has been the easiest part of my life.”
Their love grew naturally, and through all of Kellie’s health struggles, Dani remained steadfast. “They chose a life with a sick spouse, and it still baffles me to this day. Being so unconditionally chosen isn’t something I’d experienced before.”
Navigating challenges together
Love in the face of disability comes with unique hurdles – medical bills, physical limitations, and emotional burdens. But with open communication and mutual dedication these challenges can be met head-on.
“In 14 years, there have been endless challenges stemming from me being disabled. Obviously, the mental toll of near-death experiences and being a caregiver is heavy. But communication and honesty make it easier. As well as therapy,” Kellie explains.
She and Dani have built a support system to help navigate these challenges, ensuring that neither partner feels alone in the journey.
Reliable assistive tools can significantly lighten the caregiving load while fostering independence and a greater sense of self-efficacy. Kellie, a proud user of a Rollz Motion, relies on this innovative 2-in-1 mobility aid, which effortlessly transforms from rollator into a transport chair within seconds.
“Finding the Rollz Motion in the height of my illnesses gave me the freedom I was slowly losing. Outings and spending time with my loved ones became possible again.”
A love built on everyday gestures
While grand gestures can be beautiful, love often shines brightest in the small, daily acts of care.
“I’d say just the simple fact of knowing Dani is here for whatever I may need day by day is the best support I could ask for. But there are specific things they do like cooking my meals, helping me bathe, adjusting the quality time we have based on how I’m feeling, and talking me down when I get overwhelmed.”
The caregiving role can often be misinterpreted as pity, but in reality, it is an extension of deep love and commitment. Kellie wishes more people understood that relationships involving disability are not one-sided or burdensome.
“I wish people wouldn’t pass judgment or assume pity is involved on the able-bodied partner’s end. And understand that our love is just like everyone else’s, just with very unique and sometimes intense challenges.”
The strength of their bond
Through the years, Kellie and Dani’s relationship has only deepened. The hardships they’ve faced have strengthened their connection, proving that love is not about perfect circumstances but about choosing each other, again and again.
“Things have gotten increasingly worse and more serious over the years, and the commitment my wife shows has absolutely made us grow even closer.”
Their ability to grow together, rather than apart, is a testament to the strength of their love.
Seeking love while disabled
For those navigating love and disability, Kellie offers words of wisdom: “Don’t settle for someone because you think no one else could love you. Don’t underestimate your worth. And make sure the person you choose loves ALL of you.”
Her message is clear. Disabled people are just as deserving of love, passion, and partnership as anyone else. The key to a strong relationship, disabled or not, is communication, patience, and choosing someone who truly values every part of who you are.
As society continues to dismantle outdated, ableist ideas about romance, stories like Kellie and Dani’s serve as powerful reminders: Love with a disability is not only possible but beautiful, enduring, and deeply human.